Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)

Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"

Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A: drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out. That didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A: drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A: drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

Silence.

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer?"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A: drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, instead proceeding to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day."

You would not even imagine some of the questions and phone support calls we have had over the years.

This reminds me of one of my favorite videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q8DriPCX2o

I can imagine

Love the ID 10 T error

hehe cute stuff guys

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

This little video clip is probably a classic: http://inger.cybeer.no/badday.mpeg

Crikey! Turn your sound down first

LOL -- IE is virtually a virus-testing program!

Telephone conversation (which represents most of them dealing with Mom and computer lol). Mom is 1100 miles away and 72 years old, so although it's cute and funny, there is a reason at least

Jo Ann: now mom, go to the top of the browser window and find the menu for Tools..

Mom: Ok, what's a browser though?

Jo Ann: <insert whispered expletive here> we went through this already like 50 times lol, <insert explanation of what a browser is... again>

Mom: oh ya that's right, ok I have the browser open now <insert sigh because it was supposed to already be opened 20 minutes ago and Jo Ann is wondering now just what buttons on what window her mother has been pressing for the past 20 minutes if it wasn't on the browser>

Jo Ann: umm, ok now go to the top and find the Tool menu

Mom: I don't have a menu at the top anywhere that I can see.

Jo Ann: <insert explanation here how to turn the window on for Windows 7 after having to Google it for 10 minutes to see what the screens look like>

Mom: Ok I see it now, so what do you want me to do with the Tools?

Jo Ann: Ok go down the list of the tools menu until you find Addons

Mom: <mumbling to herself as she tries to find it on the menu> I don't see that anywhere.

Jo Ann: Ok Just start at the top and read all the menu options.

Mom: ok ... Web Search, Downloads, Addons, Java Console, Web Developer....

Jo Ann: Stop and backup, you already read what I was telling you to look for Addons

Mom: I did? Where? I don't see it

Two Weeks Later .....

Jo Ann: Ok go to the top Tools menu and go to the Addons again like we did last time

Mom: When did we do that?

Jo Ann: *sighs* ok let's do it over.

Rinse and repeat for the past ohhhh 10 years give or take a few lol.